I love reading romance, I love writing romance, and as of this year, I’ve begun to live romance. Like, Jaylin, one of the characters in my novel, The Courage to Try, released in October this year, I discovered the courage to try again for love and found myself head over heels for a wonderful woman.
I tried to capture the feeling of Jaylin’s fear of vulnerability and angst at having to dig deep beyond her troubled past to offer who she is to find true love. Getting beyond herself and her dread of repeating a past mistake is at the heart of Jaylin’s experience. Healing and acceptance of herself had to come before she could offer her whole self to love.
Like Jaylin, I’ve had my own life experiences dealing with past baggage and mistakes, and getting beyond them has been a journey leading me to love.
In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie explores codependency and suggests that there are as many definitions of it as there are experiences of it. Dealing with my codependency is about learning to set boundaries while allowing others to be who they are.
Participating wholly in a relationship takes bravery. I know that if I fear being unable to take care myself I withdraw and run away. The experience of being totally present emotionally can be scary for me but worth the effort. I now know what it’s like to give of myself completely and feel safe.
Whenever I think of relationships I’m reminded of the safety instructions on an airplane directing passengers to secure their own air mask before helping others. I do believe I have to be able to take care of myself before I’m able to offer care to another.
I hope readers enjoy Jaylin and Kristen’s journey to love. I know I’m enjoying mine.