What is often the hardest scene to write? The dreaded sex scene. We all say there doesn’t have to be one, and that it can be a lesbian novel without sex, but, well, it is a lesbian novel. And here is where, right up front, I trot out that wise saying, “Write about what you know.”
Are we writing from memory about sex, or is it an active, present part of our lives?
A primary lesbian goal is the myth of happily ever after being realized. There are some rare happily ever afters, which I suspect have taken much awareness, openness, maturity and mutual respect to make happen, and all too often, in the interest of longevity, a shutting down and closing off of sexual awareness. When sex goes out of your life to accommodate to being faithful, it really does leave.
I know for me, I’ve stayed in relationships far beyond the ‘use by’ date.
Then what happens when you no longer need to tamp yourself down, that your eyes can cruise a room full of women? The awakening aspect of being single is that I’m writing from a state of desire. I haven’t felt this condition in so long I truly had forgotten the whole body experience. You see I met this alluring, sexy woman at, what else, a lesbian potluck. The sum of this budding romance is that we have smiled at each other across a crowded room.
From this insignificant exchange my body has catapulted into warm total infusion of desire. Of course, a lot of creativity went into the growth of that awareness. I smile a lot. I imagine her accepting the card with my phone number on it. I place my warm hand over my crotch to hold it in a comforting embrace. Every fiber of my being is charged with energy.
We all know what body parts we have and use during sex scenes. Let us enter the lush fields of desire, to explore the velvet of a peony, peppery tang of a nasturtium, the heady aroma of a freesia.
Everything we write is based on our memories, in some form. The people we’ve known, women we’ve loved, places we’ve traveled, emotions that have both torn and healed us. To give depth to our writing we need to go to our own rich aromatic earth, add horse manure and bright silvering water to our dark small seeds. We need to pull the weeds that sap the strength of our nubile plants, and in the end offer our readers flowers of exquisite beauty.