by Mel Bossa
Ah, identity. What a great and fucked up thing.
You know, I’ve been quiet for a year–well, not in my house, but on the web–and I took that time to step back and check it all out. See what you all had to say about this and that, and what really got you all heated up or snoozing. I went to my regular favorite websites and blogs, and hung around goodreads and LGBT review sites…
Oh and I wrote a book. But I’ll tell you about that one later.
Anyway, here’s the thing: I think bisexuality decided to take a sabbatical this year. I don’t know, but I haven’t seen it around much. If it wasn’t for Johnny Travolta and his little one man show, I don’t think we’d remember how to spell the word. Oh, and this just coming in, the guy from One direction might be bi directional. Okay, so that’s what we’ve got.
All right then.
We are slipping off the face of the earth, and yet, according to the latest studies, we are growing in numbers, people, Just like Nicholas Houx’ fans. Maybe, if bisexuals were zombies, we’d have more of a chance.
Oh, Mel, you whine so well.
I’m going to get serious with you for a second. I’m going to share something that happened to me and hurt me and forced me out of the dark and here, upfront,talking with you. I volunteer for a help line where I take calls from people who need to talk. One of the callers was a woman and she had much to say, so I tuned in on her pain and gave her my undivided attention, but you see when you’re in that zone, you’re real close to the person on the other line–almost like you can feel them sitting by you. It’s like holding their hand sometimes. In the middle of something, she says, “And I’m a lesbian.” That doesn’t change anything for me. I listen with the same attention. I don’t give gay people or straight people more of an empathic ear. So she adds, “And I’m not one of those fucking Bi Bi people. Those fucking women who can’t fucking chose what they want. Those fucking bitches.”
I knew the sentiment was out there in the real world. Of course I knew. I’ve lived on this earth long enough. But to hear it so close to my ear, damn. I know she was hurt by a woman who didn’t treat her right or lied to her. I know that. But the rage with which she said it made me feel like dirt. I sat there with my ears ringing and my face reddening, but kept my mouth shut.
But it isn’t dirt on me. It’s my identify. It’s my duality. I can’t back away and I can’t stand down. And I only wish we had more healthy role models in movies and books and even in our families. When was the last time an uncle whom everyone thought was gay, admitted he was really bisexual and had simply chosen to live his life with a man instead of a woman?
Oh wait, that’s my book.
I can already hear the tomatoes whizzing by my head with this character. People read the blurb and think: Cheater! Liar! Betrayal!!!
But wait, before you put this guy’s head on the guillotine. Give him a chance to show you what it’s like for him. Nothing is ever black and white.
In his secret life came out this month and I’ll be going back to my lurking, hoping my Davinder survives his coming out as bi.
Whatever happens, I’ll stand by this book and I’ll stand by Davinder.
Peace and love to you, my darlings! Be bold!