Editors are Murderers

By Russ Gregory

 

There’s a sort of push-pull, dance-to-the-death between writers and editors that rarely breaks out in actual physical violence but none-the-less leaves emotional scars. I’m not referring to disagreements over the placement of a comma or the appropriate use of passive voice. I’m talking about flat out murder… the killing of darlings.

 

As my editor Greg Herren explains it…

 

As painful as it is, sometimes a writer will write an extremely beautiful sentence–it just sings and is clever and wonderful and—just doesn’t really fit in the narrative. In fact, it jars the reader out of what they are reading. I call it ‘author intrusion’–“see how beautifully I can write?” 

There’s nothing wrong with using language beautifully, or creating lovely images with words. But it has to fit with the sentences and paragraphs before and after, otherwise it interrupts the flow–and you don’t want that.

 

Oh but Greg you are so wrong – that’s exactly what I want. I want my readers to be jarred out of their complacency by the sheer elegance and beauty of my words. I want them to see my oh-so-heavy hand as I craft another glorious phrase and take flight on another visual bunny trail, with my sentences painting pictures in their minds even when if their focus is pulled away from the story.

I want them to say, “Wow, that’s cool… who is this guy? I wish I could write like that. I’m going to print this saying on a T-shirt. I’m going to tattoo this phrase on my buttocks. I’m going chisel this slogan on my headstone. I’m going to run naked through the streets screaming these words …”

OK, maybe not that run through the streets thing, but you catch my drift. I want to be the one that brings universal truth to light in a series of witty, elegant and thought provoking expressions.

Or at least part of me wants to be that guy. The other part wants a readable and well-designed story.

Still, when I spend three weeks writing and re-writing the same sentence – struggling over word choice and placement and syntax and rhythm, turning over options for hours and hours until late one night, I wake from a fitful sleep and bound from my bed shedding sheets like the skin of a serpent, tripping over my backpack and nearly impaling my face on a bedside lamp, just so I can make it to my computer before the perfect slogan escapes my sleep-addled brain, and then I smile and do a little happy dance and pat myself on the back because the words are too beautiful, and the world is too beautiful, and I’m too beautiful, to hold in all that beauty – it’s a little difficult to see it deleted from the manuscript on the first editing pass.

This probably explains why writers drink heavily.

When I send off a manuscript and get back the edited copy, the first thing I do, after pouring myself a stiff drink of course, is hunt out my darlings. I hold my breath until I locate the sweeties and if they’re gone, after pouring myself another drink, I pout, and curse, and stomp around the room threatening to call my publisher, or my agent, or my mother (because no one wants to hear from my mother). After another drink, I realize that maybe the world will not end at this affront to the literary cannon and, after another drink, I don’t seem to care as much because now I’m passed-out on the sofa, or yelling “Ralph” into the thunder-mug, or trying to pick up the mailman. (“Hey big boy, you sure look good in blue…”)

That’s how I handle it; other authors may have different methods.

The thing is, it hurts. It hurts like a good whack in the testicles or giving birth to a bigheaded baby.

I want my darlings left alone. The thought of them disappearing into the universal editorial maw is agonizing. My pretty words obliterated, after all that fretting and lost sleep, and, well, dancing. Seriously, I’d rather donate a kidney to a to a gun lobbyist.

Once I struggled over a single word for nearly a month and a half. I just couldn’t get it right. One early option was ‘surreal’, but that didn’t sing to me. Later, it morphed into ‘cubist’, but again not quite the right sentiment. I finally landed on ‘Picassoesque’. Even writing it now gives me goose bumps. Lovely sound isn’t it? It was lovely in context too. I fell for that word. I sang songs to that word. If I could, I would have dated that word all through high school and taken it to the senior prom.

So you can imagine my horror when the manuscript came back sans my darling ‘Picassoesque’. I sunk into a funk so deep even copious amounts of self-flagellation couldn’t pull me out of my doldrums. I was devastated.

Now some of you may be asking yourself what’s all the fuss over one little word. But ponder this if you will. What if Edward Bulwer-Lytton had written, “The pen is mightier than the butter-knife”, or John Donne had coined the phrase, “No ham is a island.” or Dorothy had muttered, ‘There’s no place like Akron” – see, one little word does make a difference.

So for all the killer editors out there, and you know who you are, this rant is for you. Authors can be spiteful and petty and as a class we are not above peeing on the petunias. So please tread lightly when you murder our darlings (or someone might just make a late night run through your garden.)

BSB_Blue_3ds

22 Responses to “Editors are Murderers”


  1. 1 Vic March 28, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    I love this, Russ! So beautifully, accurately, and masterfully told. Makes me wish I could make up words like you–then I’d have something to bitch about too. 🙂

    Like

  2. 3 T. Mathews March 28, 2013 at 8:44 AM

    Great rant, lol….so very true

    Like

  3. 4 William Masswa March 28, 2013 at 8:51 AM

    I would love to talk with you privately on this. If interested, email me wrh@nep.net

    Like

  4. 5 Jeffrey Ricker March 28, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    Wow, Russ. It’s like we have the same editor….😉

    Like

  5. 8 S.A. March 28, 2013 at 9:19 AM

    Fun blog! “The universal editorial maw” was my favorite part. Greg can be considered forewarned.😉

    Like

  6. 9 maxvos March 28, 2013 at 10:24 AM

    Oh so funny, but so sorrowfully true.

    Like

  7. 10 Guillermo Luna March 28, 2013 at 12:06 PM

    Picassoesque — I like it BUT I have to admit that I had to reread what went before it to figure out what you meant.

    Like

  8. 11 Erin Saluta March 28, 2013 at 12:32 PM

    I always think it is entertaining to hear about the writer-editor relationship! And I just have to say that anything running through the streets always makes me think of Will Farrell running through the streets in Old School. Hopefully you don’t have to call your mom too often and I’m sorry about your darlings. Writing is an amazing talent and thank you for contributing to our community with your words.

    Like

  9. 12 Mel March 28, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    You took the right out of my mouth.🙂

    Like

  10. 13 Mel March 28, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    hm, what a difference a makes.

    Like

  11. 15 Troy Storm March 28, 2013 at 3:06 PM

    I laughed. I cried. A lot. But Picassoesque really rang my writing bell. Thanks for one for our side.

    Like

  12. 16 Yvonne Heidt March 28, 2013 at 3:23 PM

    RUSS! That was awesome🙂 Loved it.

    Like

  13. 17 Yvonne Heidt March 28, 2013 at 4:04 PM

    Reblogged this on Yvonne Heidt and commented:
    Oh, Russ Gregory – this is so good I have to share it🙂

    Like

  14. 19 Devlyn March 29, 2013 at 4:46 AM

    I’m not a writer nor an editor but this made me LOL. Thankyou.

    Like

  15. 20 Victoria Oldham March 29, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    Your editor loves you. Or, they at least care about you. Well, they care about the book, anyway.

    I love how much you trust your editor–people underestimate how important that is.

    Like

  16. 22 Kim March 30, 2013 at 8:18 PM

    Love the inside scoop. Thanks for sharing.

    Like


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