A Christmas Tribute

by VK Powell

For Christmas this year I wanted to pay tribute to some of the unsung heroes of BSB, the people who make writers look good whether we really are or not—our editors. In their honor I’ve created a little ditty, a variation on The Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
a bloody red manuscript. 

On the second day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the third day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the fourth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the fifth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the seventh day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
seven heads a-hopping, 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the eighth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
eight added hyphens, 
seven heads a-hopping, 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the ninth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 
nine leading gerunds, 
eight added hyphens, 
seven heads a-hopping, 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the tenth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 

ten missing commas, 
nine leading gerunds, 
eight added hyphens, 
seven heads a-hopping, 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out
eleven Track Changes, 
ten missing commas, 
nine leading gerunds, 
eight added hyphens, 
seven heads a-hopping, 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript. 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, 
my editor pointed out 

twelve disembodiments, 
eleven Track Changes, 
ten missing commas, 
nine leading gerunds, 
eight added hyphens, 
seven heads a-hopping, 
six passive voices, 
five POV shifts, 
four lame conflicts, 
three weak verbs, 
two bad clichés, 
and a bloody red manuscript.

30 Responses to “A Christmas Tribute”


  1. 1 Carsen Taite December 21, 2010 at 7:52 PM

    Wow – you only had 10 missing commas? Good job!

    P.S. What’s a gerund?

    🙂

    Like

  2. 3 Carol December 21, 2010 at 7:55 PM

    LOLOLOL
    I especially like the 10 missing commas!!!!

    Carol

    Like

  3. 4 bobbi d. December 21, 2010 at 8:11 PM

    Fun! Thanks, Vic, and Happy Holidays to you.

    Like

  4. 6 kathiatbsb December 21, 2010 at 8:14 PM

    Two more contest winners! Ramengirl and KW each win a BSB book of their choice. Thanks for commenting. We’ll have a few more winners in the next week!

    Like

  5. 7 tara December 21, 2010 at 8:26 PM

    Great little ditty…Very funny…
    I loved the nine leading gerunds and the seven heads a-hopping!

    tara

    Like

  6. 9 Pattie O. December 21, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    Hilarious, VK! If that song stays in my head for the next two days, I’m holding you accountable!

    Pattie

    Like

  7. 10 Andrea December 21, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    I always have too many commas. LOL Guess I can never be a writer since I don’t know what a gerund is or what disembodiments are.

    Andrea

    Like

    • 11 VK December 22, 2010 at 11:02 AM

      Of course you can be a writer, Andrea. That’s why we have these wonderful people called editors. I had no clue what gerunds and disembodiments were either…still not real sure I’m clear on it. :o)

      Like

  8. 12 Kelly B December 21, 2010 at 9:54 PM

    This is hilarious! “seven heads a-hoppin'” Vic – very funny. What I want to know is….what happened to the final manuscript?

    Kelly

    Like

  9. 13 friz December 21, 2010 at 11:30 PM

    I’m with Kelly B. on this, Vic! Funny, very clever, but what happened to the author’s manuscript? Has it been published? Is it in the works? Is the author out of rehab yet?

    friz

    Like

    • 14 VK December 22, 2010 at 11:04 AM

      Oh Friz, leave it to you to ask the relevant questions:
      The manuscript, “Justifiable Risk” is available for pre-order now and will be out in January!

      The author is still spending weekends in rehab–time out for good behavior over the holidays if I promise not to head-hop or dangle any participles.

      Like

  10. 15 Susan C December 21, 2010 at 11:35 PM

    Too funny! Too true! Laugh or cry? That is the question!! LOL

    Like

  11. 17 bookgeek December 21, 2010 at 11:40 PM

    he, he — keep on, we are waiting for your next book . I already can see the introduction

    Like

  12. 19 Jo W December 22, 2010 at 1:10 AM

    Very funny!!

    Like

  13. 20 Justine December 22, 2010 at 3:31 AM

    Delightful, VK. It put me right in the mood to go back to work and address the seven ‘heads a hoppin’ before I get caught. Best wishes to you for a serene Christmas weekend.

    Like

  14. 22 Nikki December 22, 2010 at 7:37 AM

    There are no lame conflicts, only lame people in conflicts.

    This is great, very funny. Is it bad I don’t know what a gerung is…? (flipping thorough dictionary)…..ohhh….ok..

    Like

  15. 24 D. Jackson Leigh December 22, 2010 at 9:44 AM

    I had a good chuckle over this one, Vic. You forgot overused words, my bane.🙂

    Like

  16. 27 Terry December 22, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    Absolutely hilarious. I’m glad Carsen asked what a gerund was, I didn’t have a clue. LOL

    Like

  17. 29 PJ Trebelhorn December 22, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Very funny, Vic. Glad to know I’m not the only one who does those things😉

    Like

  18. 30 Levine December 25, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    You never answered Carson, what’s a leading gerund?

    Like


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